Creating…Connections

My favorite childhood game required several participants and usually began with an excited plea that morphed into a lawyer’s level of skillful persuasion. My zeal for the game was matched by my older sister’s bane. To this day, the start of game play is still linked with two words that sliced the air with their annoyance. “Come on…”  Despite their begrudging tone, I would gleefully lift my arms and turn my back to my sister so she could hook her arms under my armpits. Leveraging the height and weight differences that our seven-year age spread availed, she would swing me around and I would enjoy the delicious magic of centripetal force on my body. At some point, she would release her contact, and my body would be flung into gravity’s influence.  When my body tumbled to the ground, my job was to hold the position I landed in. She would continue this process until each of the players had found their way into an odd collection of still poses.

At that point, my sister would find an unsuspecting neighbor who might be trying to start their lawn mower, or just dragged their trash can to the curb and she would invite them “to come visit her museum.”  In hindsight I realize this step demanded a good bit of manipulation and was likely the source of my sister’s discontent with the game. With an equally reluctant participant now in tow, my sister would suddenly start talking with a level of pretension that she was too young to have earned. “Let me show you some of my finest pieces. What do you think of this one? I find it quite mysterious, what do you see in it?”  As they approached each of us, they surveyed and moved us around while discussing what type of sculpture or artifact they believed we represented. Their objective was to be so ridiculous in their guesses that they made us laugh. The last one standing without so much as a snort or a peep was the winner…and became the next curator and Statue Maker.

Now that I recall this childhood memory, I am struck at how prophetic it was…both in my decades-long career path, but also in what I genuinely enjoyed about it.

Do you want to play a game with me now? Look at this.…what do you see?

Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings right now. What is your mind doing with the simple question of what do you see? Are you trying to see something recognizable? Or are you simply noting what your eye is perceiving? Is there any part of you that is resistant or frustrated by this inquiry? If so, how are you experiencing it? Is a thought or sensation? Are you finding some lighthearted fun in the inquiry? If so, how are you experiencing it?

Now, in all seriousness, grab a sheet of paper and write down what your eye is seeing in this image. Move systematically from left to right, top to bottom, or center outward. I will do the same. (PLEASE READ some of my description…but only as much of as you want.)

• A triangle shape of periwinkle blue with layers of brown and purple appears in the top left corner.
• A blotch of golden yellow sits on top of the purple
• A fine streak or line of green is in the lower purplish brown corner.
• A bright delineated line of golden-brown cuts through the larger blotch
• A bright lick of teal that looks u shaped sitting next to a multi toned shade of golden yellow that looks like a stair step into a cleanly delineated line of murky blue-brown.
• Positioned to the left of the golden yellow splotch is a somewhat rectangular shape of orange.
• To the left of the orange splotch is a deep blue angular mark and underneath it is a deep purple amorphous shape.
• A fine white, crooked line separates the orange and yellow.
• Below the deep purple is a cleanly delineated white cone shape.
• Traveling vertically and splitting the cone shape is a slightly angled, bold black line.
• From its base is a broader multicolored line of grey, white, gold and blue that travels at an opposing angle upright, almost creating a check mark.
• That line moved the eye towards two somewhat softened edged diamond shapes stacked on one another in the hue of burgundy. The lower one appears to be a heart shape with a white line lancing through it.
• This line moves my eye to the upper right corner made up of a large triangle shape of golden yellow and a large rectangle shape of orange.
• Each has shading and subtle lines of brown that form arrows upward or swooping lines downward.
• Below the large orange block, is a clearly defined rectangle shape created by a matrix of dark lines.
• Housed within the rectangle is a gold yellow splotch that is sitting atop a dark green and blue patch of color.
• In the adjacent corner of this rectangle is a particularly special shade of blue that has clearly been created by blending blue atop a deep and rich green color.
• The lower one-third of the image is made up of a complex matrix of lines intersecting at various diagonal angles. Within the lines are striations of bright green, fine lines of vibrant teal, varying tones of orange, peach and yellow, purple, and blue.
• Below all the line work is a vibrant teal shade that creates a segmented but perfectly horizontal line through a dusty shade of rust, ending in a perpendicular shape in the bottom right corner.

Clearly, this description could have been longer and most assuredly yours is quite different to mine. Some of you may have described it more in context to shapes, lines, colors or identified objects. Some of you may have been drawn to more nuanced things like layers, edges, and shades. If you think about it, it is quite astounding how much information our eyes perceive and how much distillation happens when we use a single word to name something.

Now, look at this! What do you see?

How many of your initial lists included the word tree? Now that you see it, can you recognize the area you were viewing previously? Let me ask you this…did the artist create a tree? Or did she combine different elements that helped your brain make a connection to the idea of a tree? Did you recognize it initially or did you need a broader view and a fuller context to help find the connection?

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Every human possesses creativity and yet, it is the most disavowed trait among us. Why is that? As precise as words can be, there are just some that get conflated with others and they remain forever entangled. Artistic and Creative are such a pairing. They share terrain for certain, but they are NOT the same. And it is this co-mingling that makes people mistakenly declare themselves Not Creative.

We are all creative. Like breathing, creativity just happens. The only limit to our personal creativity is how we understand it.

One of the most compelling definitions of creativity I have found was posited by writer William Plomer. He describes creativity as “the power to connect the seemingly unconnected.”   

In our earlier example, the artist was indeed skillful in how they assembled different elements of light, shading, shapes, and lines to successfully lead the viewer to perceive a tree. But your ability to see the tree happened with broader context and precisely because of YOUR creativity…your ability to connect the seemingly unconnected.

Because creativity has been linked so closely with what artists do, we do not recognize what true creativity looks like. Creativity often begins where something is not working or when we are uncomfortable. It is here where our minds go to work generating ideas and imagining what is possible. At its core, creativity is a seeking process and with enough energy, the ideas it produces could become something new and needed in the world.

In large part, what we become gifted in connecting has a lot to do with where our knowledge and experience coalesce. But just like in our earlier example, the connections that creativity finds often arrive with more information and a wider perspective.

A cancer researcher and chef will use different skills and arrive at wildly different discoveries, but they are no less creative than a therapist who helps a patient arrive at a new way of perceiving a childhood experience.

From this more generalized definition, creativity is occurring every day in kitchens, classrooms, court rooms, research labs, at potter’s wheels, in therapy sessions, and in everyday CONVERSATIONS…  

YOU.logy is an act of creativity. It uses our everyday encounters with people, their words, stories, differences in lived experiences and emotions to find connection.

Like the therapist, when we listen closely to others, we may observe some quality about them that they do not yet recognize in themselves. By naming it, we may in fact be creating the connection needed for that skill to become a part of this person’s full expression in the world. Like the researcher, we could ask questions in a way that leads to a new understanding of how one set of circumstances gave rise to a particular conclusion. Creativity is not seeking for agreement or the familiar, it is seeking something new and useful for the current circumstances.  As illustrated in our earlier example, it is both realistic and with enough context, visionary.

Although I am trying to disentangle the artistic and creative bond, I think this point may be helpful. For most visual artists, the evolution of artistic skill starts with mimicking reality. Early affirmation comes when the emerging artist can effectively assemble details that replicate a recognizable person, place, or thing. But as technical skill is mastered, an impulse for original expression emerges and replicating what can already be perceived leads to creative frustration. As an urge to interpret emerges, most visual artists struggle to free themselves from the stranglehold of rules they initially learned so they can find a more spontaneous and original style.

Having worked with several visual artists over the years, most believe their artwork achieves a level of success when they have created enough spaciousness in the work that a myriad of viewer interpretations exists within it. Their creative angst abides where lines are too precise, objects too defined and interpretations more limited.

Let me ask you this…do you not think that many of our social interactions function the same way? We learn to mimic social rules of engagement. We use the same scripts and social courtesies modeled all around us. But how much room have we created for authentic expression between two immensely different people? If we are being honest, most of our conversations are constructed like a paint by number. Our social scripts have reduced us to inserting the prescribed color into the designated area. And we believe our best results emerge when we follow the rules and stay “in the lines.” 

But true creativity happens when boundaries collapse, when we feather the edges and create spaciousness for interpretation and discovery. Creativity is found outside the lines of what already exists, and it delights in skillfully bringing together unexpected disparate parts.

Now what if we approached our conversations similarly? How would that look?

First, we need to recognize creativity both begins with and progresses with uncertainty. Every person we meet has a wealth of experience and information we have yet to know. As such every conversation is poised for creativity…for unexpected connections to be made.

The creative process is not a linear path to clearly identified goals. Rather, creativity begins with a seed of possibility. What happens between uncertainty and creation is an unraveling, meandering, often messy and experimental process. Some of it works, some of it does not. Its success is found in fluidity, non-attachment and responding to what emerges.

Go back to the earlier list of what your eye was seeing. Do you think the artist sat down and planned the assemblage of those particular parts to create that tree? Or do you think they simply experimented; moving with instinct and observation until they arrived at a point where an interpretation of a tree finally emerged?

When we allow it, most conversations will evolve the same way. Just like the artist who strives to loosen the initial rules of representation, we too must choose to enter our interactions with less defined edges. What are some of the “rules” that limit room for exploration and interpretation? The primary ones are our habituated use of social scripts and our limited attention to what is being shared.

Our desire to find agreement with our own views seems like a point for connection. But it often functions more as a defined edge, where we separate from an opposing view as opposed to exploring it. Many of our interactions originate with prescribed goals that we want to meet. (i.e.: get a coffee, pick up our dry cleaning, buy groceries) If all goes as expected, we are content. But if someone ignores us, butts in line, has a fussy child, suddenly we recognize how our history with similar interactions has hardened our edges. If we add in financial gain, career ambition, or social recognition on any level, our self-centered agendas very quickly edge others out.

We all do it. There is no judgement here. These more permeable conversational skills are like any other new skill, they can be practiced and honed. I started by changing how I asked everyday questions. If I wanted to know how someone was doing, I traded in the “How are you?” For “How is your day treating you so far?”  I watched people stop and go through an actual assessment before answering. This is a simple example of how modifying words can get us both more fully present with each other and ourselves. When we decide to feather our conversational edges, we become mindful of the many ways we can create space for something new, meaningful, or useful to emerge.

We also listen differently. When we are uncertain about something or resolving a problem, we become very receptive and experimental with new information. It is as if we open our attention to all forms of possibility with what is present. I call this heightened receptivity, kaleidoscope listening. By allowing everything to be exactly as it is and simply rearranging how we are viewing it, different patterns of connection can be found. If we brought that level of attention and intention to our conversations, our observation of information heightens, and we become much more attuned to what is being shared. This allows us to remain responsive to what is evolving in real time. In doing so, we create space for each of us to reflect and enhance what is forming. Through that process, something new will be discovered between us, for us and by us. That is true creativity!

Tell me what you think about this?